Lost in Animal Crossing!
by Cudabear
Summary: When Freddie is pulled into the world of Animal Crossing to be taught a life lesson by Tortimer, everything begins to fall apart as Freddie disregards the rules of the game. Chapter four now up. Rated T for some crude humor and later volience.
1. Wierd Lights

**A/N**

After reading some fanfics and thinking up ideas for my own I finally decided on Animal Crossing for my first fanfic. I spent a nice hunk of time on this, and I have a few chapters done now but I will keep working on it and get it finished.  
This is a humor/parody of sorts :p. I laughed writing it so I hope you guys as the readers will enjoy it too.

**Chapter 1: Weird lights**

Another boring day of school. Another pile of homework that wouldn't be done until the latest possible time. But today was a good day, today was Friday, and I was going to spend the whole night on Animal Crossing!

Entering the door at precisely 3:00 PM, I was greeted by an angry look from my mom standing just behind the front door. (Seriously, did she stand there all day waiting for me to come home just to give me that look?) I opened my mouth to counter whatever she was about to say with an endless barrage of pre-memorized excuses.

"Now Freddie, I expect you to finish your homework before you play that game of yours. You should also catch up on yesterday's work, young man. Also, make sure your room is clean! Your grandparents are coming over and blah blah blah nag nag..." Mom's words faded into the abyss of my head and were transformed into nothingness in no time at all. I realized that excuses were not the right choice of counterattack here, so I quickly put on an innocence routine and milked it to perfection.

"...nag nag, so don't forget to wash your hair and brush your teeth!" With that she was done and walked away to the kitchen. I raced up the stairs, slammed my half door, half poster barrier shut, and tossed myself upon my bed. My room was the typical 14-year old's room, with pictures of rock bands and video game cheats posted all over the walls. A dart board was positioned over my 37-inch plasma screen TV, a picture of my little brother and a few darts pinned to it.

"Time to go to work!" I whispered excitedly, knowing that I already had everything the game had to offer. I had the golden shovel, axe, fishing pole, and net. I cheated a lot by jumping around in time to get all the right fish and bugs, but I didn't care. All those weeds that popped up during the time-jumps could be cleaned up by Wisp in one late night marathon. I had three million bells in the bank and my house completely paid off, but knowing that I could have more kept me going at breakneck speed through the game. Few would know that I got this game only a month ago, thinking that it was just some child's game, no good for a freshman to be playing.

I hit the power button on my GameCube, watched it buzz to life, then plopped down on my bed belly first and reached for my controller. Right as the game started up I realized my stupidity and reset the game, holding down the Z button on my control, and listening to the funny monkey sounds that according to me I only knew about.

My wide smile quickly was wiped away as I faced that dog, Toytak... Tetuk... Totayka... Toyota... Or whatever his name is. (The dog who gives you the music, alright?)

"Yeah man, it's good to have some friends..." He rambled on in Animalese. But wait, that means that my memory card must not be plugged in. After looking at the Gamecube and realizing that the memory card was firmly planted in its slot, where it had been since the first day it was owned by me (It's a myth that leaving it in the slot for too long can risk loosing your data. A MYTH!!11)

Crap, what happened to my data? My little brother must of deleted it! I thought helplessly. (When in doubt, blame others!) 30 days worth of work, down the drain in one. I picked up a dart and threw it at the dartboard, hitting the bullseye which was actually a nostril of the small boy's picture.

At this point I realized that Toyota (Yes, I've dubbed him Toyota until further notice) was stuck on the word "friends." He kept repeating the word over and over. "Friends friends friends friend friend frie frie fri frfrfrfrfrfrfr" and so on.

Stupid glitched game. I thought, kicking the gamecube clear across the room. (Wasn't the first time, wasn't even close. Actually I kicked the Gamecube every time I missed a Coelacanth while ocean fishing. it was a miracle that it still worked.)

What was weird however was that even though both the power and TV cords were disconnected from the back of the Gamecube, Toyota still was glitched as heck on the screen. I hit the power button on the remote, not wanting to look at his ugly face anymore. It did nothing, so I figured the remote was broken too. It flew out the second story window while I punched the power button violently on the TV, to no avail. At this point the white guitar playing dog that wasn't really named Toyota stopped being glitched and froze on screen. The Screen slowly began to fade to pure white, and then glow brighter. The brightness forced me to close my eyes, and soon the whole world spun as the white engulfed everything in my vision.

Strangely enough, as my vision faded back to me, I was on a train with a splitting headache.


	2. Train ride of hilarity

**Chapter 2: Train ride of hilarity**

The first thing I saw in the train compartment was a very sleepy warthog, or boar, or something sleeping against the back wall seat. Somehow he (or is it a she? We'll call it it) It's eyes grow heavy, it slumped over, then the sudden movement awoke it, then its eyes grew heavy again, and then it slumped over, and so on. I could have watched it for hours had it not been for a man-sized-cat walking through the back door of the train car.

Three black lines appeared over the cat's head then disappeared, something I recognized from anime shows to be showing surprise. The cat walked over to my seat (Seriously, there are tons of seats on this train, and he had to sit with me?)

"Excuse me, do you mind if I sit here? I promise not to fall over, lean on your shoulder, and start drooling on your shirt!" said the cat, coolly.

"No, go away you filthy animal!" I said louder than necessary, the warthog-thing in the corner didn't seem to mind. It kept going in and endless cycle, eyes growing heavy, slumping... never mind I just went through all of this. The cat took a seat anyway and I was filled with hatred.

"It's nice to know there are still mean people in the world. My name is Rover. What's yours?" The cat said, still as coolly.

"Freddie." I responded through gritted teeth. Rover reacted in no way whatsoever.

"Nice to meet you Freddie. Are your traveling?" Rover inquired, paying no attention to the rage building up in me.

"I'm not quite sure." I said, some of the rage subsiding because I realized I had no idea where I was.

"Ah moving is a great thing. Get out, see the world." said Rover, as if he paid no attention to what I just said. "Where are you headed?"

"Jo momma's house!" I said, laughing loudly. The warthog-thing still didn't react in any way.

"Ah! Jo Momma's House is one of my favorite vacation spots. Do you have any money?" Rover continued, paying no heed to the insult.

"I don't know!" I said forcibly, some of my hatred coming back at just how stupid this cat seemed.

"What? You don't have any money?" Rover said, a 2D explosion coming from his head showing that he was shocked. A piano sounded from nowhere. "Oh well, I'm sure these things work out in the end. Do you have a place to stay?"

"Not really." I said, mocking how coolly Rover was talking. For the first time a wave annoyance passed over the cat's face, but it passed.

"So you're moving somewhere without even having a house?" Rover asked. I scowled. "Oh, I know! I have a friend in Jo Momma's House who has some houses for sale he can't seem to sell. I could get him to sell one to you." finished Rover, sounding excited. He bounded out of the seat and toward the phone room.

At this point I realized where I was. The warthog-he/she/it-thing (Really memorizing to look at if you ask me), the cat named Rover, all of the questions, and what the cat had been saying all fit into place. Somehow I had been sucked into the world of Animal Crossing. I looked down at my body for the first time since I woke up. I was a stubby short figure with legs that looked like sticks and arms that were even skinnier. At the end of my arms there were two bulbs without fingers that I presumed were my hands. I looked into the glass window at my side and saw my reflection. My head was so big it looked like it contained two thirds of my body weight. I had eyes like an owl and horns. (Or was it hair sticking out of my hat? No it had to be horns, those were grey. It could have been hair though. If only I could reach up there to touch them. I think they're horns, but there is always the possibility that they're horns... Never mind.) Busy admiring myself in the glass, I didn't see Rover return.

"Great news, he says he has houses available. Ah! Looks like we're pulling up to Jo Momma's House now. Maybe we'll meet again some day Freddie." Rover said, waving his bulb-like-hand. "Good luck with your new life." I gave no good-bye, either because I disliked the cat or I was involuntarily moving towards the front of the train car. I tried to move back, but I couldn't feel my limbs at all. I soon stepped out of the car and into a bright sunlight, that would have made me squint if my big owl eyes could.

"Now arriving at Jo Momma's House! Welcome to Jo Momma's House. Watch your step!" A monkey shouted by the train's exit, he was just as human sized as the cat was. This didn't surprise me at all though, now that I knew where I was. I was given back control of my limbs in a weird sensation. I walked through the train station, which was just a brick platform. I always wondered why there wasn't an official train station, just a platform with a zombie-monkey who never ate, slept, or moved. at all. Thinking about it gave me chills down my spine.

I walked down the brick steps, which I realized weren't really steps but more of a slope with a step pattern on them. (What a clever way to save disk space!) As I reached the bottom of the slope I lost control of my limbs again. (Which is getting really annoying!)

Another human-sized animal ran up to me, panting and sweating. He was all brown with two black spots over his eyes. It struck me who he was at this point: Tom Nook!

A/N: Getting futher into the game now. Stay tuned for chapter three!


	3. The Nookster!

**Chapter three: Tom Nook**

"Oho, so you must be the annoying one my friend told me about on the phone?" Tom Nook said, his Animalese sounding like a wise old man.

"Annoying one, ANNOYING ONE?" I said, infuriated. "I'll get back on that train and kick that little fur ball's..."

"Calm down. That was only a joke. So you came to Jo Momma's House without any plans of a place to stay?" Nook interrupted. He began chuckling, 2D 'Ha's appearing and disappearing around his head.

"Hey, stop that. Hey, THAT'S NOT FUNNY!" I shouted.

"Oho, sorry. That struck me as funny. But it's really not. Come, follow me. I have four houses that you can choose from." said Tom, and he began walking down the path. I lost control of my arms and my legs again and I followed involuntarily.

"Now, make sure to look inside each house well and make sure you pick the one you want most." Nook said, standing by the sign. in the middle of the plaza. Four tiny shacks stood, one in each corner. I knew that they all were the same, besides the wall and floor but it didn't matter, I could change that stuff later.

"That one." I said, pointing to a house that was on the left hand side of the entry path.

"Are you sure, you didn't even take a look inside!" exclaimed Nook, surprised.

"Yes, I'm sure. And yes, I'm absolutely sure. And yes, I'm positively absolutely sure. Yes, I know I can't change my decision in the future." I answered to Nook's question, then each of my following answers came when Nook opened his mouth each time to ask if I was surer then sure.

"OK then, with mortgage and closing costs, the total of the house comes to one-seven-eight-zero-zero bells!" Tom stated, saying each digit of the number out individually. I reached into my oddly deep pocket. Which was so deep my whole arm was soon inside of it. I used to fit fifteen red snappers in there so I understand why. I pulled out my meager savings, one thousand bells. I knew this was coming.

"OK, thanks. That comes to, NOT NEARLY ENOUGH!" Tom said, his surprise accented by the 2D explosion, which I was expecting.

"This is a sticky situation, quite sticky..."

"You're supposed to say 'thorny situation, Tom." I corrected, interrupting him.

"Yeah, whatever. Anyway, this is a rather thorny situation. Yes, quite thorny indeed. You have no place to stay and no bells to purchase a home." he looked like he was in deep thought. Well as deep in thought as a 2D set of gears over his head and a bulb like hand scratching his head could manage. "I've got it! You can work part time at my store to pay off the rest of your mortgage!" finished the raccoon excitedly.

"I know, I know. Go find Nook's Cranny in acre A whatever." I said, cocky.

"Kids these days..." He mumbled, shaking his head, then walked off.

I made my way back to the train station, up the cobblestone path and back up to the big map sign. I observed it closely, Nook's Cranny was in acre A-5. I sighed, realizing I had no map this early in the game (Or was it my life now?) I reached up and tore the map that was on the board down and walked away with it, rolling it up and putting it where it could be easily accessed by pressing the X button.

After navigating my way through the sparsely overcrowded summer forest (It is much harder when you're not following the scrolling screen that moves for you when you enter the next acre!) I walked up to Nook's Cranny. It was nothing more then a decrepit shack in a clearing. I entered through the front door. (Although I doubt there is any other door. Unless there's a secret back room where he keeps his kids until you get Nookington's, but we won't go there.)

"Ah, about time you got here!" Nook said, seeming angry. He reminded me of my mom standing behind the door and I felt helpless for a second, but it passed.

"You try to get through that forest without a map." I said, making an excuse.

"Most of you humans don't ask for a map until your fourth job, I think. Or is it your fifth? Who cares. Anyway here you go." Nook produced a map from nowhere and handed it to me, and I crammed it into my X-button pocket with the other much larger map, trying to keep the lie going.

"OK first I'll need you to change into these clothes. Think of it as your work uniform." Nook instructed and handed me a green shirt with a white acorn on it. (Perhaps it was a leaf? You know what, we won't even go there.)

"Hey, Tom, am I officially working here yet?" I inquired

"Yeah, I guess. You still need to start your first job though, I need you to plant some..." explained the raccoon

"Well I officially quit. I'd rather skip the cheesy tutorial if you don't mind. It's annoying as heck." I interrupted, surprising Tom with a 2D explosion.

"Well I suppose. You'll still have to pay back..." Nook tried to explain.

"I know, I know. Mortgage blah blah blah. I can sell you any stuff I have for money blah blah. Been here done this." I said, cocky as ever. Annoyance flashed over Nook's face in much the same way that it did over Rover's but it passed as well. I walked out, setting the work outfit on a table.

I need to find a way out of here, I thought. And if there is anyone here who knows what the heck is going on, it would be Tortimer.

A/N: Each chapter brings us further into this crazy parody! Poor Tom Nook, his life is already so stressful. Stay tuned for next chapter, chapter 4: Finding Out


	4. Finding out

**Chapter four: Finding out**

Using both of my maps to navigate my way through the confusing world, and almost falling over the cliff (No really, if it wasn't for the fact that the physics of the game didn't allow you to do that, I would probably be dead right now.) I finally made my way into the wishing well square, or circle (Here we go again, gotta stop doing that.)

There were a few animals scattered around, probably bored of waiting for me to come talk to them on the Meet the Animals tutorial/job. Tortimer was still in the wishing well area, which I was glad of. It reminded me of jumping around in time to get all the free gifts from him, good times, good times.

"Son, tell me who it is you respect most. Your mother, Your father, Your grandfather, or your grandmother?" Mortimer wheezed. He was a shaky old turtle with a shell two times his size.

"None of the above!" I said, chuckling.

"Ah, I weep for the younger generation... Wait that isn't one of the predetermined options." the old-timer said with less of a wheeze. At least someone realized that I wasn't just another player.

"Yeah I know. Why am I here, gramps?" I asked.

"Gramps?" Mortimer said, offended. "You should really learn some manners young man. I brought you here and I can send you back when you learn to respect others." as the old turtle (or perhaps tortoise now that I think about it...) finished he walked away, leaving me with a lot of unanswered questions. How was I supposed to show respect for others? I was struck by an idea.

Ozzie was roaming the square, looking at other animals and occasionally stopping to chat, which always resulted in him either happy or crying. He was a just-under-human-size koala bear, who was as lovable as can be. His Animalese was hinted with a touch of a british accent.

"Hey, you must be the new human that moved into town." said Ozzie as I approached.

"Ozzie don't act like you don't recognize me! I'm Freddie!" I said more loud then necessary Ozzy began thinking as the 2D gears ticked by his head.

"I don't recognize you, Ol' Bear. But it's nice to meet you Freddie." He said, and tried to walk away. I placed my bulbish hand on his shoulder

"Ozzie I just wanted to apologize for hitting you repeatedly with my butterfly net that one night I was kinda bored. I also am sorry for trapping you in a prison of holes and pushing you around until you cried." I admitted, feeling more guilty with every word I said.

"I don't remember you ever doing those things, let alone remember you at all. Maybe you have me confused with another Ozzie?" the koala reasoned.

"Ozzie, come on. There is only one Ozzie possible in this game." I said softly.

"I know, Ol' Bear. I'm not supposed to relate to my clones in other towns, but thanks, Ol' Bear." Ozzie finished, then hurried away. I felt proud of the respect I had just shown the British koala, but when I turned to tell Mortimer what I did he was gone.

"Respect. Respect. How could I show respect. Hmm. I could go help out some animals, I guess." I said to myself, before realizing that I need to stop talking to myself.

A/N: Looks like our hero (if you can call him that) needs to learn to respect others before he can return to the real world. That shouldn't be too hard, even for someone who just learned what the word respect meant! (ok not really, but y'know...)


	5. That wierd bulldog guy

**Chapter five: That wierd bulldog guy...**

Kiki stood outside her door, whistling happily and enjoying the summer's day. I walked up to her and asked her if she had any favors for me.

"Hmm, Let me think. Nope nothing I can think of. You should try back later and maybe I'll think of something." The black cat said in a sweet voice characteristic of those 'friendly' characters. I waited a few seconds before asking again.

"Hmm, Let me think. Nope nothing I can think of. You should try back later and maybe I'll think of something." she said again. I waited a few seconds once again.

"Hmm, let me think. Oh! I've got it! Jane borrowed my camera a while back. Could you go talk to her and get it for me?" I nodded my agreement. "Great, thanks, Freddie!"

After getting lost again, being saved by the physics of the game from falling into a river, I reached Jane's house. She was a pink gorilla with way too much make-up on.

"Jane, give me Kiki's camera, now!" I instructed, my patience running thin.

"Fine, jerk. You know, you could show a little more respect." finished Jane. She tossed the camera full force at my face, then stormed off into her house. I managed to save the camera from being shattered into a million pieces on a rock.

"Crud," I said to myself "Respect one person disrespect another, it's like a vicious circle!" Wait, I just talked to myself again. After slapping my head, I headed out back to Kiki's house.

"Whoa, Freddie, you spooked me, kittycat! No biggie, what's up, kittycat?" the black cat said nicely. I, unfortunately, recognized every single word from the game.

"I've got something for you." I said as sweetly as I could. My stomach almost churned at that. I produced the camera from my pocket and handed it to the sweet cat.

"Wow! You got my camera back from Jane for me, kittycat! I'm impressed! No offense, but Jane isn't the nicest of animals, if you know what I mean, kittycat. I'm thinking of calling a hit on her, what do you think, kittycat?" The cat said, one of her eyes rolling to the side of her head at the sentence. At first I thought she was sarcastic, but I soon realized she wasn't.

"Um, no, Kiki, that is not necessary." I mumbled, hoping it would work.

"I guess you're right, kittycat. I should listen to anybody as respectful as you!" She said, listening intently. Her eye corrected itself. "Now to thank you for getting my camera for me, you can have some of my favorite stationary, kittycat." The black cat handed me a pack of four sheets of Dizzy Paper.

Here's where I usually start shouting to myself if I was playing the game. "What I'm not good enough for furniture? Or bells? What's up with this?" I could hear myself now. I was already opening my mouth but caught myself.

"Um, thanks, Kiki. I really needed some stationary, to um... write a letter with." I faked, trying to sound as thankful as possible.

"You're welcome, kittycat." she said, her eye rolling to the side again.

"Kiki, you may just want to get that eye looked at."

"What eye?"

"Never mind."

So, so far Jane hated my guts and I found out that the sweet Kiki was actually an insane cat who wants to call hits on people. Well, at least I wasn't on her bad side. "Awesome, off to a great start so far..." I mumbled to myself, sarcastically. I started walking back to my one room shack to think about my situation.

"See, that's not so hard, is it?" a mysterious, deep growl said from behind a tree, making me jump halfway out of my skin.

"W-who's there?" I said, hoping it was Wisp. But Wisp only came at night. And he didn't have that kind of Animalese. A chubby, short dog stepped out from behind a tree.

"It's-a-me!" He said, mocking that alligator Alfonso's catch phrase. I looked down at the dog, who was a bit shorter then me, and didn't recognize him.

"You know, from the police station?" the dog tried to explain. I was still confused.

"From the lost and found you always get free stuff that isn't yours from?" He rambled. I was still confused.

"Let me talk like I normally do. 'That item is a shovel, I think. Would that be yours? Great, you can take it then, I think. It shouldn't be a problem, maybe, I think, I hope, but if it is a problem then maybe you shouldn't. No take it it's taking up space anyway, but what if it isn't yours? No it has to be yours otherwise you wouldn't be claim...' do you get my point yet?" the dog imitated himself. Where have I heard that from?

"Booker!" I said, the thought suddenly hitting me. (well, he is one of the lesser characters in the game, right?) The bulldog nodded his approval. He suddenly got in my face.

"Look, bub, I put on that cheesy act at the police station every day for just enough pay to put food on the table for my wife and kids. Now Tortimer is paying me a few extra bucks to keep tabs on you while you stay here." growled Booker, pushing his nose into mine. (well at least where my nose would be if I had one.) "If you don't learn to respect the six animals in this village soon you're gonna be stuck here for a long time." He backed up a bit, leaving me speechless and out of breath at the fact that the harmless sounding Booker could be so intimidating.

"Well it seems that both Kiki and Ozzy are quite fond of you now. That's two down, four to go." he explained, lowering the tone of his Animalese. The bulldog turned around and walked away. "You better get to work."

"So what, the characters that are in every town are like the 'head honchos' and all the other animals are like workers?" I said, trying to figure out why all of this is happening. Booker stopped in his tracks and it seemed like he flinched, but it was only for a second. He didn't answer and hurried away. I continued off for my shack, finding my way around the town a little more easily.


End file.
